What can I do to encourage your terror today? There’s already a devastating storm ravaging your homes and businesses. Or maybe you’re one of the residents of Philadelphia who barely got a wind storm, and are terrified that you’ll never experience anything real, anything meaningful, even in terms of a meteorological event.

(If so, here, watch this movie and be cured of your desires. I told you all to watch this months ago anyway, so we could discuss it, but do you listen to me?)

Normally I would link you to Jezebel.com’s “they would prefer it if these came from real life” ghost story comment thread, which (whatever you might think about Jezebel) is frightening simply in its depth, the unrelenting nature of its onslaught. It’s also very scary if you let yourself read it at night before bed, because then you will stay up all night terrified of shadow people.

BUT. It’s down due to the storm. So what’s the point? Electric Literature has a story up this week that they’re billing as horror, so that’s probably worth a look, though to be honest I haven’t read it yet so I can’t stand by it as truly frightening.

Maybe you don’t want to be afraid at all, even though it is Halloween? That seems inappropriate. Keep it to yourself. In the meantime: I did not invent fanged deer. Those are Chinese Water Deer. Perhaps you can terrify yourself by researching the unendingly rich biodiversity of our planet. There are species we haven’t even named yet. Spoooooky.